WWIII: Prequel

It's been over five years since Superham first became who he is today. After his encounters with Super Tweak he vowed to end all violence as quick as possible in order avoid another bloodbath. His long struggles cost many lives and destroyed many more. Innocent people were killed and slaughtered in front of The Ham. Superham continued on to create the ever so perfect world that he imagined. A world without war and violence. A world where everybody understood that people had different lives and experienced different things and that making it worse on them was a bastard thing to do. His effects on the world proved to be helpful but not as effective as he hoped, but it was still better than doing nothing. After many fearsome and vigorous battles with justice he finally began to see more and more peace in the world. Then came World War Three.

It began when Russian invaded Ukraine in Ukraine's time of disparity. Then the president of the United States issued a statement that if Putin ordered any further action of his troops their would be a consequence. Many people saw it as all talk and no action. Putin invaded more and on March 10th 2014 Vladimir Putin killed 400 Ukrainian civilians. The United States along with France, Germany, Britain, Canada, and Italy declared war on Russia. China, Japan, Korea, and Mexico sided with Russia and joined them. From that moment on the world was changed forever. The battles took place on the homelands of each country involved including the United States. It was worse than World War Two. Within the first year over 3.4 million people were dead. Superham vowed at the start of the war to not get involved with the countries affairs but he quickly realized that Russia and it's allies would not back down. Superham began to mobilize into Ukraine to help the citizens being ruthlessly slaughtered. As he entered the territory disguised a Russian IL-20. He was shot down and landed over mid Russia. He was quickly captured and held in an underground military torture chamber. This is where he went through over 300 hours of agonizing pain. He couldn't escape the cell because they injected a strange chemical inside of him in order to stop his ability. Whatever it was, it burned. Finally, after six months of being under Russian capture. Superham managed to escape. One of the guards forgot to inject the chemical into one time. That was all he needed. His power switched back on in a flash, it made The Ham feel alive. He quickly turned his hand into a Calico M960 and killed every person that crossed his path. After moving up as high as he could he changed into red and blue Semi in the middle of the hallway. He crashed through the outside wall. He immediately noticed he was high in the sky, about to fall to his death. Superham attempted to turn his hand into a parachute to float down but it wasn't any good. His power was failing him. As he plummeted to his death he gazed at his battered body in his reflection off of a watch he stole from a guard. He was emaciated everywhere but he still managed to escape that easily but now he was about to fall to his death. Suddenly he remembered the vial. He quickly sliced his arm open and pulled out a glass vile. The contents? Sawdust. The sawdust from the machine he got mixed up in. He spat on the dust and tossed it into his mouth. He quickly spit it out. He felt a rush of energy jolt through him. Superham changed into a fighter jet and blasted away from the ground, moments from death.

Superham quickly returned to the closest U.S. ally. Germany. The memories of the pain and torture were forced back into his mind and locked away, hopefully forever. His mission in life was stronger than ever. He was going to end this war and the spiteful Russian's with it. Once he landed he found a food cart abandoned in the street. He immediately began gulping the food down, no chewing, just swallowing. The food tasted like the tears of dolphins and angles. As he continued chomping down the food he felt a metal object jam into his back. Superham turned his head a bit to the right. A Russian soldier remained behind him, chanting German and Russian mixed.

"So, is that a gun or are you just happy to see me?" he chuckled.

"Спускайтесь, erhalten down, Спускайтесь.erhalten down!"

The rage and hate for the enemy caused Superham to black out and become relentless in his next action. He transformed his hand into a three pronged spear. He whipped around and jabbed it through the Russian's chest and out his back, five times. The soldier dropped his weapon half-way through the second jab. Superham then turned his hand into a hook, much like Captain Hook. He then jabbed it through the Russian's throat. The superhero wasn't done though. He shifted his hand into a flame thrower and turned it onto the soldier's face then body.

Cottingham then came back from the blackout. The blood of the enemy was splattered all over his body and face, his hands were crimson red and his hand was still as a flame thrower. A tear shed from his left eye when the realization set in. Superham turned to see the slaughtered soldier's allies off to the side, dumbfounded. Superham shifted into an F16 and took off back towards America.

Part One: Six Months Past

Within a few hours Superham managed to land in America undetected by the army. There was something a bit off, he had sworn he had landed in New York yet there wasn't a single person anywhere to be found. He thought about the possibility of a curfew being enforced but usually there would be soldiers in the streets. However there was none, not a single sound was made. There wasn't even any vehicles out which was extremely off. Superham turned one of his hands into a FaB 556 assault rifle. He aimed it down the streets, waiting for a Russian to leap out and attack. The streets remained still. He decided to take off towards the western part of the city. He transformed into 2010-Bugatti Veyron Super Sport-258 mph and sped down the streets of New York. As he got closer and closer to the western side he began to hear sounds that resembled gun fire. He transformed back to normal and let the sound grow stronger. "No way!". It felt as if the doubt was so high inside of The Ham that it oozed outside of his body. The feeling grew stronger inside of him as the seconds went by. Superham brought his left hand up to his ear and felt. He immediately felt a liquid on his finger tips. He brought his hand to his face and he saw it. It was blood. Superham slowly shifted his body around. A line of enemy soldiers remained lined up in the streets, their guns aimed directly at The Ham. Cottingham stared into the souls of those Russian soldiers. He saw the hate and pain they imposed on the world. Superham would never forgive them for what they did to him in Vladimir Putin's Torture Colony No. 5. Unspeakable things were done to the old and fragile hero. Those memories will remained imprinted in his mind for the rest of his life. It also will be the location of the hate and rage that will fuel his fighting energy.

It will cause him to give everything to win this war. His power and fuel will come from those unspeakable things done to him by the Russians. Superham grew a smirk on his old and battered face. "You are in no condition to fight, Superham, you are weak from torture, you have no advantage, ready to die?" Superham cackled after the soldier spoke. He raised his hand and snapped his fingers. The men aimed their guns at him but nothing happend. Suddenly, a volley of machine gun bullets whizzed through the air and began to slaughter the Russians. Cottingham quickly shifted his right hand into a bulletproof shield. He kneeled down and clamped the bottom of the shield on the ground and held back the rapid fire of bullets for twenty seconds. Afterwards he walked next to the pile of dead soldiers. Behind them was his actual 2010-Bugatti Veyron Super Sport-258 with the trunk facing the soldiers.He was able to turn his hand into a sophisticated computer and detach it from his arm and plug it into the computer. From there his thoughts controlled the car if he needed to. The snap of his fingers was enough to activate thought control. He copied the Breaking Bad finale with Walt's machine gun in the trunk. It works wonders. The Superhero aimed his head towards the western party of New York. In a flash he shifted into an F-16 and took off. Within about 40 seconds he reached the agonizing scene of death. Thousands of New York civilians laid dead in the streets. Behind them were tons of Russian and Chinese soldiers. Their guns were their mouths, their tanks were their fists, and their presence meant the downfall for humanity.

"All this in six months!?"

Part Three: Guy Fawkes

Everything Superham knew was falling apart. So many were dead, so many were injured, and so many had lost hope. The old and fragile hero gazed upon the situation laid before him. It was almost enough to make HIM loose hope. Almost. His fists clenched as tight as they could, almost breaking his bones. His teeth remained pressed down almost breaking them. His mind was filled with thoughts of hate and rage. He wanted to just snap his fingers and kill all of the Russians and Asian countries involved, but The Ham knew better. His only shot at stoping this war was going right to the source, Russia. The feat would be monuments. Only a true hero would be able to move in and complete this impossible task. The enemy side was way to powerful to be able to get close to Putin. It also didn't help that all the higher ups in every country knew about Superham. Everything about him. He'd have to become someone else for a long time, somebody that he wished he would never be again. Guy Fawkes. The man who tried to blow up parliament in the 1500s. A long time ago he found a way to reverse his age. After he did so he faked his death and became hidden, forgetting everything. Until now. A brilliant, mischievous, undeniably God-like hero known as Guy Fawkes.

Superham reached in his back pocket and pulled out a mask. Until he could get the anti-aging chemical from the secret chamber that he vowed to never visit again, he'd have to wear it. He tied it around his head and shifted into F-16 and took off towards the middle of the United States, hoping to find refuge. From there he would begin on his plan to eradicate the Russians. If he planned it all out correctly, it would fall on November 5th.

Superham stared at the scene of thousands of dead civilians and spoke, " Remember, remember, the fifth of November; the, gunpowder treason and plot; I know of no reason, why the Gunpowder treason, should ever be forgot."

Part Four: Reunited

It had been months since the renounced Superhero, Superham, had disappeared off the face of the Earth and took his old identity, Guy Fawkes. Uncovering his past lead to a great amount of stress that ravished his body. However, the brave hero kept going. He regathered his secret team that had planned the attacks on parliament, 500 years ago with him. They had gone into hiding when Guy but agreed to not have contact anymore. Every fifteen years Superham would send the deaging chemical to them but that was it. For 500 years the team had not spoken a single word to each other, and now, with WWIII tearing the world a part,they're back together.

"Men, 500 years ago we split a part after our failed parliament takeover, in this time I have had many lives and identities," Superham spoke, "I kept my mouth shut for the first two world wars, but now, it is my duty as a world hero to stop this horrible war."

"And the Holocaust wasn't a horrible thing?" one of his men remarked.

"I know, it was wrong for me to abandon the world like I did, but, we must move on in the name of all that is holy."

"You're the only one with super powers, you know?" the same man spoke, "we're all just the same as a normal person you know, just 500+ years old."

"I understand that, which is why we will work to recreate what made me a hero and allow you all to have the same recognition that I have."

"Hm, it depends, will it hurt?"

Superham took a gulp of air before speaking, "when I became Superham, the shock that flooded my body was enough for me to pass out, however, if we can test this and do it again under controlled conditions, it should be relatively painless."

"And how long will it take?"

"I estimate 10-25 months, we will need to work fast and will great effort if we wish to end this war swiftly."

"Then after this," one of the females on the team spoke, "we go back to nobodies and you stay the hero?"

"I will hide from the world while this is going on, I will train as Superham to push my inhuman body past it's limits, when I emerge again, it will be with you guys."

One of the female team members took a few steps towards Superham and spoke, "fuck this, I'd rather have my throat slashed and my ovaries cut out with a rusty spoon than spend any longer in here with you fucktards."

Everybody except Superham looked shocked. The Ham replied, "if that's what you wish, just know when you're staring death in the eyes and taking your final breaths, you could've changed it all."

She then walked out.

"Psychotic bitch" Superham swore. The Ham walked over to his super computer and entered in a few logs to the pc then he turned around. "Well team, let's start saving the world."

Part Five: The Superham Squad

"God fucking dammit!" A voice fired from inside the secret layer of the Superham Squad. Superham pulled back his arm and clenched his hand into a fist and sent his fist flying into the machine. "This is the tenth fucking power failure in the last two days! How the fuck am I suppose to turn everybody into heroes like me if I can't even get any bloody fucking power to the damn machine!"

One of the members of the Superham Squad approached The Ham and spoke, "listen, ham, I could help you with this, you know, ever since it was invented I've been an expert on it."

The Ham glared up at Jackson Pautskier, "you bloody fucking wanker, you think you can create this damn machine?"

Jackson took a step toward Cottingham, "I can at least supply it with power."

"Fine then you fucking imbecile, go ahead, do it."

I'm going to go back to where I had the accident and analyze the machine and the sawdust contents and with that, The Ham took a few steps outside of the base and morphed into a fighter jet and fired off towards Minnesota. After a while he managed to land next to the school, but how would he get in?

"I ain't got time for this bullshit," and with that The Ham transformed his hand into an rpg and fired it at the side of the building. He then walked in, hearing the speaker alert student of a hard lock down. Superham got near his old classroom door and changed his hand into a pistol and took one quick shot at the knob and then two at the hinges. He then stepped to the side and let the door fall. Inside, were some familiar faces, however they looked off, maybe that was because of the fact a gunman just shot down their door. The Ham then walked up to the time saver. He changed his left hand into two prongs and jabbed them into the time saver and he then turned his right hand into a scoop and picked up the sawdust he then walked out the hole he blasted in the school wall. However, outside were about 200 police officers and around 500 S.W.A.T. before thinking he turned his feet into rockets and blasted off in the sky.

"Mother fucking pigs" he spoke as he hocked a loogie and spat on the police below. Once he got back to the analysis chamber the power was hooked up and the entire machine was done. At first cot felt contempt towards Jackson Pautskier but then he knew that there were somethings that The Ham just couldn't do and build was one of them.

He set down the machines next to Jackson and spoke, "thanks, welp, all we gotta do now is analyze this date and recreate the conditions inside of the machine and we should be good to go according to my theory." "Time to create some badass motherfucking heroes!" The Ham Squeaked.